GREENWICH, N.Y. — Christmas was so much fun this year. We had family travel to our house for the holiday. There was even a snowstorm that greeted us on Christmas morning. It was absolutely beautiful to wake up to the falling snow that definitely added to the magic of the day.
For an entire week the house was a clutter of Christmas wrapping paper, and gifts scattered all over the floor. The plates of sweet and savory treats were at our fingertips 24-7. I definitely put on the five that I had lost this fall. Oh well..
Around the 30th of December the kids and I changed our tune from Christmas to 2018. We sat around the kitchen table, each of us with a piece of paper and wrote down the things that we wanted to get done in the coming year. As they have gotten older I have pushed them to set goals in different areas of their lives, which Tyler and Jacob are starting to understand. School goals, fun goals, family goals, etc … Our lives are multi-faceted and giving attention to each compartment is important. It also promotes some really fun conversations. This year it revolved around the high peaks of the northeast, what qualifies them, where are they, how many of them are there??
During this time we also have fun pulling out the goals from the previous years and checking what we did against what we set out to do. It’s all a work in progress in my book, and carrying over goals is totally, 100 percent acceptable.
The Christmas season also rang in a new year for me, 43. As the clock keeps ticking the goals have morphed into intentions. Intentions of what I want to do in the year to come, intentions of how I want to feel, where I want to go. Intentions give me a feeling of freedom in how my goals get met, and allow for well thought out changes. Because change does happen.
What I like doing the best though is finding a word or phrase that I want to define the year ahead with. In the past I have used words like focus, or peace. But this year I have decided that the phrase is going to be “The Haves,” an idea that stemmed from my couch. Thank you couch. I am practicing my gratitude towards you.
You see, I have the ugliest couch in the world. I really do. It is quite the joke with the kids and I, our family and close friends. But, like all jokes there always seems to be a thread of truth, of insecurity that lies just under the surface. I am going to be honest here, I am kind of sensitive about the couch.
So this is ridiculous right?? Why am I even sharing this with all of you? Such a menial thing to get stuck on when there is war, poverty, disease … yup, simply dumb Kate.
(But I have to share, because I think it is a nature of being a human.)
I should just go out and buy a new one, right? In today’s world of plastic and credit lines you would think that would be the course of action for a 43-year-old woman who is unhappy with her couch. But really, it’s not the right answer now. Spending money on a couch is not the most responsible thing to do as I have financial commitments for the growth of my business and more pressing matters in my home that are on the list to be addressed. Things like electrical grounding issues and bathroom repairs; home improvements that come in much higher on the priority list and well over the vanity issues that I have with my couch. (Pathetic — yes, you can think it.)
But what happens, is that when I have a bad day, or I don’t feel like things are going quite right, it seems that the couch, takes the brunt of all of my frustrations, and I tend to focus in on it’s pure ugliness.
(Really the ugliness is coming from within me.)
Is it fair to this couch that I am being so hard on it?
This is a couch that I never had to pay for. I acquired it from a family member when I moved into my house in Greenwich. It was clean, barely used and it has and is successfully filling a need. It’s dated, but is functional and appropriate for three boys who still spill and a dog that occasionally gets over excited in play and pops her front paws up on it. Trixie?
So I have decided that enough is enough with the couch. Really Kate … if this is all you have to fuss about…
The fact is, I have focused way too much negative energy on calling out the couch when life doesn’t seem to be going my way. So this year, this year though, it is going to stop.
The focus is going to be on the fact that I have a couch instead of dreaming about the couch that I have not. It is going to be more about the daily gratitude for all the beauty in my life rather than the concentration on the not so beautiful of those less than perfect days . And all of those obstacles and challenges, yeah well, they just need to be faced with patience and love because it all adds up to one great big blessing, life.
As true as the rivers flow, I am sure that there is something in your life that gets the negative attention when you are at war with yourself or the world around you. Maybe it’s the squeaky door, or the tractor that needs a tweak every time you start it up. Is it a cupboard that won’t close tight, getting into a frigid cold car, or the short days and long nights?
Whatever it is, just remember, you are a human being. Give yourself that and then, try to be better. Keep yourself in check and do yourself a favor; let those have nots go. Find the beauty in your haves instead.
You may use my intention for the year if it works for you. Or, figure out one that applies more appropriately.
Write it down and put it in a place where you will see it, and perhaps, when you see, you will be able to take pause and think about it for a moment, to remind yourself to keep driving towards it.
The year’s are rolling by, we need to make the most of each and every one of them.
Cheers to 2018! So many things I want to share with you, and will. I look forward to our year together.
And please, don’t hold the shallowness of my couch angst against me. After all, I am human too; a wondrous, big WORK IN PROGRESS human!!! 😉
With much love and thought,