Wanted: Winter Dairy Farm Worker
Requirements:
Proficiency at scraping frozen solid manure from the alley ways of a freestall barn.
Must be smart enough to plug in tractors at night.
Is great at using a torch to get anything frozen loose or open, without burning down a barn.
Subscribes to the Michelin Tire Man’s code of dress: Lots of bulk.
Likes to attend meetings where free lunches are available and condiments are served in single serve packets.
Will stand on cold concrete in below freezing temperatures for hours at a time to record preg check results for the vet during weekly herd health exams.
Is not afraid to use ether to start tractors.
Enjoys fiddling with frozen waterers and pipes and accepts that ice cold hands and feet are part of the job—everyday.
Knows what a “snots-cicle” is and wears it like a badge of honor on either facial hair, neck warmer, or inner coat lining.
Considers splitting firewood a great way to warm up and jumps at the chance to.
Embraces cracked fingertips.
A warm tractor cab and Bag Balm ARE your best friends.
Without hesitation will strip down to a t-shirt, lie on the ground to arm a birthing cow who has chosen the far back side of the dry cow pasture to birth her baby on a cold and snowy winter day.
Will get up and tube a sick calf every 4 hours on a below zero night in a calf hutch that you can’t stand up in.
Has arms big and strong enough to scrape ice and manure off of tractor buckets, blades, and the sides of spreaders.
Will work through pneumonia, the flu, or bronchitis.
Loves to plow snow, shovel doorways, and chisel ice.
And has the will and tenacity to hang on ‘til spring….when the sun comes out, the bibs come off, and you realize that it is all worth it.
Email Resumes to:
farmerjackfrost@whytheheckdowedothis.farm
Serious inquiries only
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